Wednesday, April 1, 2015

My Mom and Dad's Journeys Through "the Door"

"After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven..." -Rev.4:1
It's been a month and a half since my Mother died. I knew the day she left I would write about the experience of watching her go—but it's taken this long to be able to do so. (Photo: Mom and Dad at the coast)
Holding my Mom's hand, helping her through the 'birthing process' of separating spirit from body, was both the most extraordinary and most difficult experience of my life.
But in order to fully tell of Mom's journey, I've got to back up about 10 months to my father's passing from this world, and what he told us he saw before he died.
Some background; both my mother and father have been faithful Christians, very involved in their church, doing Bible studies and devotions regularly... I—and my siblings—are blessed with a wonderful, heritage of faith.
Last June, my Dad—at 90 years-young—lay on a hospital bed in my parents' living room with 'aspirating pneumonia.' Hospice had been called in and we knew it wouldn't be long before he left us. In the dying process, he struggled with pain and "itching" in his feet, and my siblings and I would take turns massaging them.
During one of these times, my sister, Jill was rubbing his feet when he suddenly said, "Look out, Jill, when the door opens it'll hit you."
Jill was standing next to the living room wall—there was no door behind her... at least none that WE could see.
Jill quickly realized Dad must be talking about a doorway between this life and Heaven. She told him, "I can duck very fast, and move out of the way in time."
We are a family who believe in prayer, so my sister-in-law, Marie—who was visiting Dad—had requested prayer on my father's behalf from a friend of hers, Renea. This friend called Marie to see how Dad was doing, and Marie told her about 'the door.' Renea became silent.
When Marie asked her what was wrong, Renea told her, "Oh that's a prayer verification. When I was praying last night I saw a door, and Richard and the Lord were waiting behind it." (My brother, Richard—Marie's husband—had died in 2009)
About two days later, Dad was in his final hours and our wonderful Hospice nurse, Norita, was tending to him, when he again mentioned "the door," however he told her it was locked. From what I understand (I wasn't present at the time) something like the following conversation ensued...
"It's locked Mr. Frank? Well, do you have a key to the door?"
"No, I don't have keys for it."
Norita pretends to put something in my father's hand. "I brought a key, Mr. Frank, try this one."
A few minutes later Norita asks my dad if the key opened the door.
"No, it didn't fit."
She again pretends to put a key in my father's hand. "Well, I have lots of keys… here, try another!"
After a few more minutes... "Did that key fit, Mr. Frank?"
"Yeah... that one fit."
"OK well Mr. Frank, when you're ready, you go ahead and turn that key in the lock, open the door and walk through to Richard and Jesus."
It wasn't long after ‘til he did just that, and quietly passed away with my mother holding his hand sitting next to him. They had been married for 67 years.
My Mother
After my father died, my mother—who had always wanted to experience living in "the valley" (Willamette Valley that is), as opposed to Central Oregon where my dad wanted to be—had made the decision to move to an assisted living facility near me.
By September, we found one for her with a very nice, spacious apartment and porch, and she settled in as much as an 86-year-old, grieving widow can. She especially enjoyed Bingo and times when the activity director would pull out his guitar and lead them in song. (Photo: Mom's one-and-only 'selfie')
I still have a voice mail recording of her (priceless now) when she called me during one of those times, singing our family's favorite song, with which she had taught each of us to harmonize; "You Are My Sunshine."

But Mom was suffering from Congestive Heart Failure much worse than she let on, I think. And she missed my father terribly.
One day in mid-February I noticed her fingers and toes had swollen up, and I brought her to the hospital—she would never return to her apartment.
Mom's Journey Through the ‘Door'
Mom was lucid and carrying on conversations with all her family who came to visit her in the hospital; it was Valentine's Day and we filled her room with flowers. My husband even smuggled in some chocolate covered strawberries for her.
Later that night she insisted we all go home and get some sleep and she'd see us the next day.
I was called back to the hospital at 5am that next morning. The nurse said he wanted to call me earlier, but my mother didn't want to wake us up.
Now as I entered her room I could see she was already beginning her journey home.
Several generations were represented as we gathered around my mom—I didn't want to let go of her hand.
We talked to her, and sang and sat on chairs and benches pulled up near... as she lay back, in her bed.
Then suddenly Mom sat up—staring straight in front of her with a look on her face of complete amazement and wonder.
We all stopped in mid-sentence, waiting to see what would happen next.
She slowly sank back into her bed for a while, and then without warning, she would struggle to sit up again, having that same expression.
This happened several times, and with each one, we would fall silent, waiting to see what she would do.
Once I was adjusting Mom's pillows so she could more easily sit up, and I told her, "There, now you can see the 'door' better." She got a big smile on her face and nodded 'yes.'
We were laughing a little about this when she again sat up looking straight ahead, and for the first time since this process had begun she spoke in a hoarse voice and said, "Say prayers!"
All of us jumped up grabbing each others' hands and hers, and began to pray... and sing... and pray some more.
Then she just lay back in her bed for a while.
The next phase of my mom's journey was much more strenuous for her; it was truly a separating of her spirit with her body, until it was finally over and she exhaled her last breath in peace.
The most accurate description is that it was very much like giving birth except you don't have the joyous result on this side of Heaven.
Or... this side of 'the door.'
I had wanted to ask my mom to somehow give me a sign that all was well, if she could, when she arrived in Heaven; but I never got the chance.
The next day my sister and I went to Mom's assisted living facility.
As we walked inside the front doors, there in the main room was the activity director with his guitar. It suddenly occurred to us what he was playing and singing—and there was the sign from my Mom...
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey..."
For now, I'll miss you Mom, Dad and Richard... but I know I'll see you all again.
And I know who will be on the other side of the 'door' when the Lord calls me home.

7 comments:

Rick Dalbey said...

Thanks Aimee. My Dad is in Hospice care in his memory care facility at Edgewood Downs in Beaverton. Mom lives next door in Independent living. Dad is a real believer but has had his intellectual abilities, memories and body stolen by Alzheimers. We are waiting for his passing and excited by his graduation. This was very helpful.

Unknown said...

Very Encouraging Aimee. Had me in tears. My Father-in-law and mother-in-law are close to this. This gives me hope.

Rick Dalby, my father-in-law (above) built and used to own Edgewood Downs. I used to help Market that facility.

Steve Shultz

Unknown said...

Bless you sister in Christ...what a precious Home-Coming. Our Lord is so good to give us such gifts the world does not have. Thank-you so much for sharing!!!!

Unknown said...

Hello Aimee,
I read today's 1/15/20 Breaking Christian News and also read the story about your parents' journey back in 2015. First of all thank you for posting your story. I have been struggling with 2 deaths in our families. Last year 2019, my dad died in May due to complications & severe illness and I am not sure if he's a believer. Then the weekend before Thanksgiving on Sat 11/23, my brother-in-law (Michael) who's only 46 passed away due to stage 4 Colon Cancer. We had been contending for God to heal him for the past 4.5 years. Because of the severity of his physical pain, on the day of his death, his last wish was for the family to allow him to die. On that day we prayed & God did extend his life for 7 hours when he was admitted to the hospital but he refused further assistance to prolong his life and he passed. We know that he's in the better place. I personally take this very hard and just can't understand why God won't heal him. I am angry at God. And I have been praying and seeking as well. It is very hard but no matter what, God is good. And I will see Him one day and Mike.

Btw, thank you for being the editor of this Christian News. I enjoy reading everyday.

God bless,
Johann Wu

Unknown said...

Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. I would like to share the story of my dad's passing in ICU at the age of 66. I was working when a prompting from what had to have been the Holy Spirit urged me to abruptly leave my job and go home to see my dad. It was supper time, and I sat with him in the den chatting while mama fixed dinner. Daddy let out a cough that shook the house, and I asked him if he was okay. He used to smoke. Never had I heard such a cough as that! He stood up and told me to leave. I was stunned. This was not like him. He said he was going to rest before dinner, and again told me to leave. A couple of hours later, I received a call and was informed that my mama had called an ambulance, that they had lost him a few times on the way to the hospital, when he was admitted he underwent emergency surgery but his liver had burst with leukemia cells and nothing could be done for him, and he was brain dead. He waited until my sister arrived before he died, and after we all said our goodbyes to our dad, we joined hands around him, looked up, and said, "Take Jesus's hand and go, daddy." And he did. That night we all had a dream where he visited each of us. He was running in a field of flowers in mama's dream. In mine, we were alone in the house, and he was downstairs when I heard someone breaking in. I ran to the steps and shouted for him to get his gun! He looked up at me and calmly said, "All you need is the two-edged sword, Birdie." I woke up. Our Pastor said we received a blessing from God by having these dreams on the night of my father's passing. I believe we surely did!

Katherine Curtis said...

I was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease) when I was 46 years old 2 years ago. The Rilutek (riluzole) did very little to help. The medical team did even less. My decline was rapid and devastating. my arms weakened first, then my hands and legs. Last year, a family friend told me about DOCTOR JAMES Herbal mix medicine and its effectiveness in treating ALS , I contacted him. and ordered for his herbal mix medicine, i was happy to report the treatment effectively treated and reversed my Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), most of the symptoms stopped, i was  able to walk and eat well, sleep well and exercise regularly., i'm  pretty active now and my attitude is extremely positive.i joyfully recommend you to DR.JAMES  because health is wealth this is a very bad experience with those living with ALS  or any other diseases like Shingle,schizophrenia,Bipolar, Parkinson's disease,Schizophrenia,Cancer,Scoliosis,Bladder Cancer,Colorectal Cancer,Breast Cancer,Kidney Cancer,Leukemia,Lung Cancer,Skin Cancer,Uterine Cancer,Prostate Cancer,Fibromyalgia,a
Syndrome Fibrodysplasia ,Epilepsy Dupuytren's disease, Diabetes ,Coeliac disease, Angiopathy, Ataxia,Arthritis,Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis,Alzheimer's disease,Adrenocortical carcinoma.Asthma,Allergic diseases.Hiv_ Aids,Herpes,Inflammatory bowel disease ,Copd,Diabetes  please do not hesitate to contact him on his Email  Drjamesherbalmix@gmail.com

Florence said...


I started on COPD Herbal treatment from Ultimate Life Clinic, the treatment worked incredibly for my lungs condition. I used the herbal treatment for almost 4 months, it reversed my COPD. My severe shortness of breath, dry cough, chest tightness gradually disappeared. Reach Ultimate Life Clinic via their WEBSITE www.ultimatelifeclinic.com . I can breath much better and It feels comfortable!